Posted on February 8, 2010.
March buy Wrigley If Mars Buy Wrigley?
Hello, I am Dr. Murray Trillionaire - I am the world's leading self-help guru, they all come to me for advice, not Dr. Phil. Now it is Warren Buffett, businessman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway.
Dear Dr. Murray,
Hello, Warren Buffett is. Am I worse! I have worked in recent weeks on an agreement for Mars, maker of M & M's, to acquire Wrigley, the chewing gum people. But over the past 24 hours, I was struggling with self-doubt. Is this a good thing? Is password chewing gum? If Mars is tempted to buy Venus (Williams, tennis player, not the planet)? You know how I am, Murray! I'm working on something and then get to grips with the self-doubt. I lack confidence in me. It's not easy growing up in Nebraska with a name like Warren. I am a middle child too. Mother always preferred my younger brother Jimmy Buffett. I spoke with Bill Gates yesterday, and the only thing he could say was, "we can put a piece of Juicy Fruit in every Windows Office suite!" Great! This will really help. What should I do?
Warren "Wish I were Murray" Buffett
Dear Warren,
Have you ever thought about having people call you or Renny Wawa?
Contrary to suck candy, chocolate bars and lollipops, gum has always had trouble defining itself by and has stopped dancing in both directions from a hedonistic utilitarian perspective. In the 1960s there were two types of gum: spearmint and peppermint (and some more advanced societies like the United States, cinnamon). Gum was expected to freshen your breath. That's it. Get in, freshen breath, leave.
But then came around your 1970 with hippies and drug users and all of a sudden you see people like Sir Walter Bubblelicious brothers and Schwartz (Hubba Bubba and) go out with psychedelic flavors like Sour Apple , strawberry-kiwi (before that no one except for some people in New Zealand knew what a kiwi). As he was now expected to entertain, to delight the senses. Me smoke pot, I swing, I put a piece of Sour Apple and two pieces of mango guava passion in my mouth. Who cares about my breath?
Then came the 80s and Reagan would have none of that. Gum needed to become serious again. It must have a purpose and that purpose could not be simply to refresh your breath. Now, gum would be expected to whiten your teeth, improve your email, and getting rid of the plaque. Things that would never be expected from a bar of chocolate or a Tootsie Roll. Do not get me started!
Well, the clock is swinging back and people want pleasure. Organic and going green is great these days. So I'm really optimistic (or is it bearish, I never can get those two words right) on a zucchini flavored gum. Leeks are great since the book came out which said that French women are thinner than Americans because they eat a lot of leeks. And of course, who does not like carrots. Always organic. No pesticides.
WaWa and listen, we put a man on the moon, we can put stents in his heart, does laser surgery, where only 20 years we have been forced to liposuction, but why not continue to lose gum its flavor after fifteen minutes? Why there is not a gum I can let you into my mouth all day? You have a moral responsibility, Renny. Go!
